笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。小编精心收集了关于长篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
关于长篇英语笑话篇1
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."
在一个小镇里，一个警官拦住了一个在主街道上超速行驶的骑摩托车者。
“但是，警官，”这个男人开口说，“听我解释，”
“安静，”警官打断了他，“我要让你到监狱里做冷板凳，一直到长官回来。”
“但是警官，我只是想说…”
“我说过了，安静，你将要下监狱!!”
几个小时之后，警官看着他的犯人说，“你足够的幸运，长官正在参见他女儿的婚礼，当他回来的时候一定心情不错。”
“别指望了，”监狱里的伙计说，“我就是新郎。”
关于长篇英语笑话篇2
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
关于长篇英语笑话篇3
All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition: to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping. For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised. It said: "remember, once a week，one of our customers gets free goods. This may be your lucky day!”
所有去新开张超市的主妇都有一个美好的愿望:成为一个购物不用交钱的幸运顾客。因为这是入口处的一则商店启事所承诺的。上面写着:“请记住，每周有一位顾客可以免费购物。今天也许就是您的幸运日!”
For several weeks Mrs. Edwards hoped, like many of her friends, to be the lucky customer. Unlike her friends, she never gave up hope. The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things, which she did not need. Her husband tried to advise her against buying things but failed. She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket would approach her and say，"Madam, this is your lucky day. Everything in your basket is free.”
正像她的许多朋友一样，有好几个礼拜，爱德华太太都在盼望着自己会是那位幸运顾客。跟朋友不同的是，她从来不放弃这种期望。家里厨房的碗柜中都塞满了她并不需要的东西。她的丈夫劝她不要乱买东西，但是她不听。她梦想着有一天超市的经理走到她的面前对她说:“夫人，今天是您的幸运日，您篮子里的每样东西都是免费的。”
On Friday morning, after she had finished her shopping and taken it to her car, she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea. She dashed back to the supermarket, got the tea and went towards the cash desk. As she did so, she saw the manager of the supermarket approach her. "Madam，”he said, holding out his hand, "I want to congratulate you! You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your basket is free”
一个周五的早晨，她在采购完把东西放进车里后，发现自己忘记了买茶叶。她快步回到超市，取了茶叶后走向收银处。正在此时，他看到商店的经理朝她走来，“夫人，”说着他伸出手来，“我要恭喜您!您是我们的幸运顾客，您篮子里的所有东西都是免费的。”
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