I recently visited a friend in Malibu, a visible beautiful beach north of Los Angeles. As I walked along the sand, I was held attention by the warm wind, the sound of the ocean, and the light shine off the wa－ter. Glancing at the luxurious1 houses lin－ing the shore, I imag－ined that this was as good as it gets.
Then the rains came. Hour after hour, day after day, the rains pounded down. My friend’s garage roof leaked. The stuff she was storing there all had to be moved. When the storm was over, armies of ants marched through her kitchen.
In the midst of the disorder, a national news correspondent called and asked if she could come out with a television crew to film the scene. Puzzled, my friend asked, “ Why?”
The woman replied, “Well, all around the country people get excited if they hear that s
We take pleasure in others’ misfortunes when we envy2their apparent happiness. Hearing about another person’s success, we might think,“Oh, I would be happier if you had just a little bit less go－ing for you right now. You don’t have to lose every－thing, of course, just a slight damage of that glow would be nice.” We react as though good fortune were a limited goods, so the more someone else has, the lessthere will be for us. As we watch someone else partake of the supply of joy, our hearts may sink—we’re not going to get our share. But someone else’s pleasure doesn’t cause our unhappiness. We make ourselves unhappy because our nega－tivity makes us alone.
An other option to feeling painfully cut off is to learn to rejoice in the happiness of others. In Buddhist3 teaching, this is called sympathetic joy. Sympathy4 is commonly used in the sense of feeling badly for others, but learning to share their joy revolutionize our thinking about where we can find happi－ness. Usually we rejoices in what we get, not in what others have. But sympathetic joy is a practice of willingness to give, and giving isn’t just about doing someone a favor, it makes us feel better.
最近我去拜访一位朋友，入住在马里布———洛杉矶北部一个景色优美的海滨小镇。沿着沙滩漫步，海风拂面，海上波涛阵阵，波光粼粼，令人迷醉。我边走边欣赏着岸边一排排的华屋豪宅，心想这里就像传说中的那样美。
后来下起了雨，大雨滂沱，数日不绝。朋友家的车库开始漏雨。她放里面的杂物不得不搬出来。暴雨过后，大队大队的蚂蚁开进了她的厨房。一片混乱中，一位记者打电话问她是否能出来会儿和电视台同仁拍些镜头。她一脸迷惑，问怎幺回事。那位记者回答：“啊，是这样：如果其他地区的人知道马里布出事了会很兴奋。”
我们经常会幸灾乐祸，因为我们嫉妒别人的幸福，听到别人成功的消息，我们可能会这样想：“噢，他要是大小出点什幺事，我才高兴呢。当然不一定失去什幺，只要倒霉点就好。”我们的反应好像幸福是稀缺商品，别人得到的越多，我们的越少。当我们看到别人在享受幸福时，我们会郁闷———担心幸福有一定的储备，别人用了，留给自己的就少了。其实别人幸福并不会影响我们幸福。我们感到不快是因为我们的负面心理在作怪。
要摆脱这种郁闷，选择只有一个———学着祝福他人，佛教教义把这叫慈悲心。慈悲与同情是不同的：同情只是说别人难过，我们也难过。学会分享别人的快乐将彻底改变我们的幸福观。通常我们只会为自己得到的东西而快乐，而不会为别人的所得而快乐。但慈悲心会让我们更慷慨。给予不仅仅是帮别人忙，同时也带给我们快乐。
